My heart sits in my chest like burning kindling today. The responsibility of my role in the natural world is almost smothering me and I can’t stop the peeper-leaking.

I had a beautiful Blue Jay dying in my hands yesterday after it broke its neck by flying full speed into one of our windows. There was nothing that I could do to save it and the responsibility of that is almost too great to bear.

Of course I’m accountable.

I’m a human living in a dwelling in their territory. They were here and flourishing long before I invaded this land. The repercussions of building a house with huge reflective surfaces is great for the selfish human inhabiting the dwelling but have dire consequences for our feathered friends. Not to mention the amount of land clearing that had to happen before you could cast the foundation.

So we start off by destroying their homes and their food source and then continue to obliterate these creatures by what we build.

How is that maintaining the integrity of the natural world?

How is that respecting the natural order of things?

We keep on taking more than what we are willing to give and for the most part, are blissfully ignorant of the results and ramifications of our self-serving actions.

People don’t like the amount of spiders on the OUTSIDE of their homes, because the webs are unattractive and spiders are scary.

Well, let spray some poison and voila, spiders no more. Never mind the fact that there are countless birds relying on spiders as a main food source and that the spiders keep other insects under control.

Don’t like dandelions growing on our perfect lawns? What the hell. Treat the grass with some concoction and dandelions be gone! Screw you Mr Bumblebee.

Scared of wasps because they can sting you multiple times? Just dab some or other fatal potion on their nest and watch those suckers drop. I’m sure there are loads of other pollinators that will take up the slack.

We are so focused on our convenience and comfort and desires that we are unable to realize the consequences of our actions.

When did we stop being responsible for the natural world?

When did we become passive participants in this environment?

I don’t want to change or influence the land where I live in any negative way but at the moment, me just breathing the same air as the birds, furry critters, insects and other wild life, is detrimental to the whole circle of life.

My heart is just very sad today about that perfect bird that did not have to die.