It’s a Kinda Magic

The blitzkrieg of spring has commanded a fresh start for me as well. As blooms burst into existence and buds erupt into a luminous green, I finally rediscovered the power (just about a desperate craving) to end yet another chapter of my own personal Kabuki.

Sporadically I fall down the chasm into a severe, disabling loneliness that borders on hopelessness. A bleak, assiduous separateness. With no apparent reason, I feel convinced that I am separate from all others and are horribly exclusive.

The despair that accompanies one of these bizarre moods is a huge black, bottomless pit out of which I can only claw my way out with savage determination. During these bleak spells it is not so much that I believe I have no one. I rather feel that I am no one. Hollow and empty.

The almost perfect isolation of winter is but a memory by now and when I compare images that I made during this desolate time to what I’m capturing currently, I find it tricky to recognize. How completely and utterly comforting that change is! The transformation of seasons has yet again reminded me that this thing called life is a set of scales.

Life in all shapes and forms means involvement. And involvement means taking risks more often than not. Taking these risks where change is inevitable, are universal and timeless. Change represents the greatest truth.

If change is universal then none of us are untouched or alone and never could be. I might not respond to the end or beginning the same way as you but what I feel when confronted with ‘feelings’ of change, might just be identical.

The plants. The animals. The insects. The whole of humanity. We all drink from a similar pond. By sipping from that same body of water, every race, every religion, every nationality becomes one amalgamated species.

We are all woven together to form the one true fabric of life.

12 thoughts on “It’s a Kinda Magic

  1. Lani – A touching, revealing and somewhat frightening revelation. Life and winter can do strange things to our psyche, our sense of vision and our perception of who and what we are. Spent half a century living at the bottom of that well and fourteen years climbing out of it – maybe not the same story as yours but I understand where you are coming from. Your summation is dead accurate. Now if only we could learn to live that way.

    Know that when the darkness closes in there’s a hand on the outside you can reach for.

    J

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    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dearest John,
      Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my labyrinth of the mind. Although I wish I can blame winter, this is a necessary ebb and flow for me to get the creative neurons firing. I don’t enjoy the darkness while it lasts but there is always a reward for me once I surface.
      Your reaching hand is/will always be a welcome sight!
      Thank you.

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    1. I think we all go through these stages – some of us skim it (lucky!) and others need an intervention of some sort to help us climb out of the doldrums. I for one, have a stupendous tribe that support me and are always willing to shower me with good ole fashion luuuuve when I need it!

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  2. Dear Lani,

    These photos are lovely bursts of light and color.

    Your fan,

    Lash LaRue

    Sent from my iPad 3440 South Jefferson St, #877 Falls Church, VA 22041-3154

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    Liked by 1 person

    1. Just when I think winter is here to stay forever, spring leaps onto the stage and slaps me into my happy place!
      Thank you Lash. Hope life is treating you with rainbow gloves!

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  3. It brought a smile to my face to see you re-affirming your status as a drama queen, albeit it a subtle and classical manner. 😉 Whilst we know you primarily for your discontented winter style are you ready to embrace the vulgarity of vibrant spring we wonder ? Living dangerously on the edge now ! Don’t fall prey to any bad influences you hear. Ah the life vibrant spring breathes into us all – bosh – living the dream! 🙂

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  4. Beautifully described Laan, and so true. Thankfully, like the seasons, we manage to lift our heads to face the new stage.
    Stunning images ❤️

    Like

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